Displaying posts written by

mrdustin

who has written 35 posts for MrDustin's Jokes and Stuff.

May
24
2010

Harry and Nancy Visit a Dying Priest

In Washington an old priest lay dying in the hospital. For years he had faithfully served the people of the nation’s capital. He motioned for his nurse to come near. “Yes, Father?” said the nurse. “I would really like to see Harry Reid and Nancy Pelosi before I die”, whispered the priest. “I’ll see what I can do, [...]

Mar
25
2010

California’s Turn

So as not to be outdone by all the redneck, hillbilly, and Texan jokes, somebody had to come up with this:  You know you’re from California if:  1. Your co-worker has 8 body piercings and at least 1/2 aren’t visible. 2. You make over $300,000 and still can’t afford a house. 3. You take a bus and are shocked [...]

Nov
16
2009

I Can’t Respond…

I can’t respond to any of my emails today.  Something has crashed on my keyboard… And the mouse is missing!

Nov
11
2009

Greater Canton (Ohio) Barbies

Mattel recently announced the release of limited-edition Barbie Dolls for the Greater Canton market: “North Canton Barbie” The modern day homemaker Barbie is available with Ford Wind star Minivan and matching gym outfit.  She gets lost easily and has no full-time occupation.  Traffic jamming cell phone sold separately. “Massillon Barbie” This recently paroled Barbie comes [...]

Nov
4
2009

Deodorant

I got this new deodorant today. The instructions said to “remove cap and push up bottom”. Now I can barely walk, but whenever I fart the room smells awesome.

Oct
15
2009

Campfire Tools

Just when you thought you had every tool imaginable…

Oct
15
2009

Dating Around the World

CAUCASIAN NORTH-AMERICAN WOMEN: First date: You get to kiss her  goodnight. Second date: You get to grope all over and make out a  bit. Third date: You get to have sex but only when she wants to  and only in the missionary position.   IRISH WOMEN: First Date: You both get blind drunk and have [...]

Oct
15
2009

Fireman Sex

A FIREMAN came home from work one day and told his wife, “You know, we have a wonderful system at the fire station: BELL 1 rings and we all put on our jackets, BELL 2 rings and we all slide down the pole, BELL 3 rings and we’re on the fire truck ready to go.” [...]

Oct
15
2009

Country Preacher

An old country preacher had a teenage son, and it was getting time the boy should give some thought to choosing a profession.  Like many young men his age, the boy didn’t seem too concerned about it.  One day, while the boy was away at school, his father decided to try an experiment.  He went [...]

Oct
15
2009

Somewhere in Transylvania

Bob Hill and his new wife Betty were vacationing in Europe, as it happens, near Transylvania .. They were driving in a rental car along a rather deserted highway.  It was late and raining very hard.  Bob could barely see the road in front of the car.  Suddenly the car skids out of control!  Bob [...]